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Showing posts from August, 2013

My Blogging

Today, I have had a decent day. I woke up having energy this morning, so naturally, Ashleigh and I went to church today.  Of course, Kim always has a good sermon for us.

As always, I try to talk about something that comes to me when getting ready for my blog. I want to be able to communicate with others who are dealing with the same issues as myself. Today, there has not been too much going on with me. I still have strong feelings about what all I am going through and why I feel as much as I do. Of course, I feel overwhelmed by starting dialysis, getting my daughter into college, not having money, and just being upset about personal issues. These issues will be brought up at another time when I am at a more relaxing place to explain  things better. All in all, I have been relaxing and have some alone time with my other daughter, Ashleigh. She is an amazing daughter. She tries to help me around the house. She also makes her own designs for her website, The Geeky Giraffe. Check it out s…

Of Sentimental Value

Today, I had my second dialysis treatment. I had to be there at 11:45 a.m. Along for my trip to the appointment, I brought along my panther pillow and a blanket. The blanket is tearing up, but it has sentimental value. My Grandmother Leigh made the blanket for me so many years ago before she died. I still think of her when I have this blanket by my side.

Sentimental value is a good thing. We all have something of sentimental value somewhere in our lives. I have several blankets and pillows that she made me for birthdays and Christmas. I also had several silver dollars that my grandfather had given me before he died, too.   So, there are a lot of things that have that sentimental value for me.

What about you? What do you have that has sentimental value to you?
Ciao for now.

My First Dialysis Appointment

Good evening, all! Tomorrow is the big day! My first dialysis appointment is tomorrow, and I am really hoping this makes me feel better. I have been tired, legs are restless, and I just want to not be so tired all the time. I have to be there at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning to get some paper work done. My appointment is actually for 11:00 a.m. I just hope that all things go well and that this helps me out in the long run. With me starting on dialysis, I have been informed that I should be getting on medicare and/or disability. This would really help me out tremendously if that happens. The only thing is that I have so much trying to get done and so little time.

Along with all of this, I had to go to the UNC Women's Hospital yesterday. The trip takes around 3 hours to get there and 3 hours to come back. We got there around 9:45 am and didn't get out until after 12:00 pm. If there had not been another appointment over 3 hours later, we would have stayed. But luckily, we reschedule…

A Trip to the Doctors & Specialists

Tomorrow, I have to go to the NC Women's Hospital in Durham. These trips are aggravating to me at times. Don't get me wrong, but a 3-hour trip is not the easiest trip for me these days. I just got through taking my daughter to NCSU for her freshman year. It was exciting, but the lines to get into the dorms were very, very long. We stayed with her and helped her get settled in. And yes, I cried some tears (tears of joy for a proud mother). And along with this comes driving back home. We were all so tired after this 11-hour round trip.

The sad thing about going to the Women's Hospital is that you see so many different doctors and specialists. That is not a bad thing, but it urks me even more when there are a few of these doctors that talk down to you like they are better than you. Yes, I have had the privilege to be stuck with one of these nutritionists that happens to be this way. They are not fun to be around. They assume that just because they can afford to eat right that…

From the Heart

Until two minutes ago, I didn't know what I was going to write about today. I have been trying to get things done so I will be free for tomorrow's trip to NCSU with my daughter, Jessica. A long 3-hour trip going, and a long 3-hour trip coming back.

The pastor that I work for is a very good man. He not only works around my crazy doctor's appointments, but he gives from the heart, too. Take this for instance. We have been trying to get the bulletin done a day early so I wouldn't have to come in on Saturday to get it done. I have been working hard, but the information didn't come in until about thirty minutes ago. He came in and perused over the bulletin. Luckily, he didn't find anything that needed to be changed. As he was leaving, he told me to have a safe trip. And then he did something that I didn't expect. He turned around and gave me a little bit of money to help with my trip. The man really gave from the heart.

What do we give from the heart? I try to g…

In Need of Prayer for One's Self

Today, I feel like I need a friend or someone to talk to. Don't get me wrong. I have "friends". But, do you ever just want that someone to kind of know that you need a shoulder to lean on without having to tell them? This is just one of those many days that I have felt this way lately.

My daughter, Jessica, will be leaving home on Friday, August 16 for NCSU. Don't get me wrong on this. I am so proud of her for going to college. And it wouldn't have happened without my parents' help. I am so indebted to them for this help. But, as a mother, I am going to start crying once I say that last "goodbye" for the day (probably before I can even get the words out!). This will be a good cry, though.

And on a very serious note, I have not had a relationship that you could call a relationship in a very long time. This is part of my on-going problem. When you are the one trying to put forth ALL effort, it takes away from that emotional balance of a love that shou…

Prayer For Others...

Good morning, everyone.  I hope everyone has had a great weekend. My weekend was full; but I was fulfilled in many different ways in just a span of three days. This past week, though, the United Methodist Women's group at my church met on Tuesday evening. It was on Wednesday that I found out that I would be having to go on dialysis for my kidney disease. 
What people that I came into contact with on that day didn't realize was that I was battling some deep-seeded emotions about everything going on in my life. I found myself wanting to cry over things that I really didn't need to cry about. But at the same time, I have been finding the time to read on a book about praying for strangers. I received this book at our UMW meeting; I immediately started on it that night. I have yet to finish this book, but it made me realize something...I am not the only person that needs prayer in their lives. Just put it this way. Why do we meet the people that we meet throughout each day? May…

My Mother's A Blessing

The time we have with our loved ones are so precious and dear to us. And I know that this entry is not going to be so much about myself this time. Today, I can truly say that my mom has been so much of a blessing to me these past few years. I am truly thankful that my mother did not give up on me when I was a teenager. We were never that close back then; I clearly can say that we are so much closer than I ever thought we would ever be, though. Moms carry a heavy burden for their children and give so much, and yet what do we give them? 
Two days ago, I received news about having to have dialysis for my chronic kidney disease. I haven't mentioned this but my disease is Iga Nephropothy. (Well, this is one of so many different kinds of chronic kidney diseases. Right now, I am not going to get into what all this entails.) One of the hardest things that I have ever had to do is come to terms with my illnesses. And before I can talk to anyone, I have to work it out in my head to make me …

The Appointment

Ok, today has been a trial at best. Trying to deal with the results of my nephrologist appointment yesterday has been really hard on me personally. Dr. Dashiell has always been a very sweet, understanding doctor. Of course, it doesn't hurt that he is a very handsome doctor either.
But all in all, he gave me the news that I have been dreading and knew was coming. I will have to start on dialysis. Yes, this is what I have been hoping not to hear. But, it has been a blessing that my kidney diagnosis has been decent since I was diagnosed two years ago. And yes, it has been two years to the month. Also, as someone who works, I have to admit that it is hard to set my dialysis appointments up due to the fact that my family owns only one (1) vehicle and my husband works nights. I let him know last night that he would probably need to get someone to pick him up and bring him home about three (3) nights a week. His response? "I probably can't get anyone to do that. They all want t…