The Appointment

Ok, today has been a trial at best. Trying to deal with the results of my nephrologist appointment yesterday has been really hard on me personally. Dr. Dashiell has always been a very sweet, understanding doctor. Of course, it doesn't hurt that he is a very handsome doctor either.
But all in all, he gave me the news that I have been dreading and knew was coming. I will have to start on dialysis. Yes, this is what I have been hoping not to hear. But, it has been a blessing that my kidney diagnosis has been decent since I was diagnosed two years ago. And yes, it has been two years to the month. Also, as someone who works, I have to admit that it is hard to set my dialysis appointments up due to the fact that my family owns only one (1) vehicle and my husband works nights. I let him know last night that he would probably need to get someone to pick him up and bring him home about three (3) nights a week. His response? "I probably can't get anyone to do that. They all want to work over."
With this in mind, I will have to change my preference of nocturnal dialysis to daytime dialysis. My thoughts run through my mind....."Man, do I always have to put aside myself every single time? I guess I do." Well, we'll see how things go.
On another note, though, is the thought that my youngest daughter will be going to college next week (Friday to be exact). She is excited; of course, I am excited for her, too. We all are. I just hope that I handle my feelings well when this is all said and done. I wish her well and I know that this is the best thing for my daughter. Emotions can get the best of me, though. My emotions are shot all to you-know-what and if I can, I will not cry this time. What am I saying? Me, not cry? Yeah, sure. That will change, I know it will.

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